Traits regarding Emotionally Immature People
1. The people who are emotionally immature are self-centered too.
There are many people who grow up thinking that the world revolves around themselves only. And maturing relates to setting oneself free from the bond of ego. As the individual grows up, he learns that there are other people in the world who have their own requirements. Hence, the people who are immature emotionally don’t explore the world of other surrounding people in the world and remain self-centered.
2. Commitment is quite troublesome for the people who are emotionally immature.
Commitment is surely a sign of immaturity. The mature people have already learned how to restrict their needs and behavior as well as have the feeling of sacrifice. But for the people who are emotionally immature, this seems to be quite evil. They take time to commit to anything. Again, keeping a promise is quite difficult for them.
3. People who are emotionally immature have a habit of blaming others.
The people who are emotionally immature develop the inclination of blaming others. They don’t have any relevance to the damage caused or even the punishment they might get. They lack the understanding of being responsible and fail to recognize their mistakes. They also don’t develop the habit of asking for forgiveness for the mistakes they have done.
4. The people who are immature emotionally are much dependent on relationships.
The emotionally immature people always need someone. They cannot live alone and workout everything on their own. Not because of love, they need others to support and care for them. They are highly dependent on relationships. However, at times, they might also stand for the actions they have done or look for someone to share the responsibilities too.
Emotional Immaturity – An Introduction
Just imagine! Your big day is here. You are all set with flowers, chocolates, and a beautiful ring to propose your princess. But as you kneel down and propose, she starts switching the proposal with other random talks. Finally, she leaves with the ring still in your hand and you have no clue whether it’s a yes or no. This is nothing but emotional immaturity.
When it comes to relationships, emotional maturity is something that is essential. It means the ability to manage and understand the emotions you carry. It helps one to create a dream life one is seeking. A life that is complete with fulfillment and happiness which is observed through the behaviors and thoughts. However, not everyone is emotionally mature for a healthy and genuine relationship.
You may also like to read about how to handle depression.
Emotionally immaturity relates to the lack of understanding of the feelings and emotions of others as well as communicate with the partner. And having a partner that is emotionally immature can be disastrous for the relationship. During conflicts, the partner who is emotionally immature would blame the other one rather than working over his own actions. And this makes it difficult to develop effective communication as well as to remain calm.
Hence, emotional immaturity is a state in which the person suffering from it would find it hard to communicate or understand the emotions of others and appear to be reserved or selfish.
What Are the Key Signs of Emotional Immaturity?
Each individual comes with a different emotional immaturity level. It is something that might remain consistent or even improve after a certain time. However, there are certain signs that would help you learn about the situation as well as the level of immaturity.
1. What do you think I am feeling right now?
The people who are suffering from emotional immaturity, lack the ability to making effective communication. They are not able to reveal what they feel and also find it difficult to deal with deep conversations. Such people would find different ways of avoiding such topics and lack the connection required. Some of the common tactics of diversions they might reveal include laughing and not opening up, avoiding the talk by moving out for something urgent, avoiding the talk due to stress, postponing the discussions for some other day.
2. The world centers around me only!
This is one of the biggest signs that would help in determining the mental issue. The people suffering from emotional immaturity are always living in a world that is centered on themselves. It’s very hard for them to believe that there are other people who have their own lives and requirements. If you are busy talking with your partner about your concerns or worries, and he is not even bothered with it, it is clear that your partner is suffering from emotional immaturity. For them, they only matter in the world.
3. Future plans! What’s that?
Have you ever tried to discuss a small matter regarding the future with your partner, but he has ignored it? Wait! This is also a sign of emotional immaturity. Such people are not ready to make any future plans be it small or big like a camping trip, movie plans, weddings, etc. As they lack the required commitment, they would rather give up discussing such future plans. They live the current moment and don’t plan futures. Again, even if they find any future plans together, they would surely be in confusion and would avoid communicating effectively.
4. Alone, Loneliness, Lonesomeness
Yes, when one of the partners is into the relationship, you are sure to feel alone. The relationship is something that requires a feeling of love, respect, and support. But if your partner is suffering from emotional immaturity, the other is sure to suffer from lack of intimacy. This brings disconnection in your bond or relationship. The relationship doesn’t reach the depth that is required for both to be happy. Hence, you are sure to remain alone or lonesome if your partner is having emotional immaturity.
5. No Commitments Please!
Want a committed partner in your relationship? This is something you would find missing if he is suffering from emotional immaturity. Talking about the future or any commitment would be something that would always be ignored by the people suffering from emotional immaturity. They would avoid the topic by diverting the communication or topic when it comes to some commitment or planning for the future. They are afraid to lose their freedom or even limit it. They would make excuses, avoid talking about the particular topic, drag your attention to something else, etc. when it comes to commitment.
6. It’s not my mistake!
No, it was not me! You didn’t remind me! Yes, these are the excuses you are sure to hear from an emotionally immature partner. Just as emotionally immature people avoid making commitments, they also are not liable to accept their mistakes. They are totally unaccountable. They would mess up things, blame other people, or even the circumstances when it comes to admitting the mistakes. They would impose their deeds on others or even blame others for not reminding them about any particular activity. In short, they wouldn’t count on their faults and always look for a way out of it.
7. My Interest, My Money!
The emotionally immature people are very concerned about their interests, hobbies, or even toys. They are more likely to spend a good amount on the things they are interested in like night outs, games, cars, electronic devices, computers, cell-phones, etc. without thinking. This can be tricky to determine if your partner is suffering from emotional immaturity. However, it can still be determined if without any purpose they are spending on their interests. Again, they are also least concerned about the cost of the product or service they want to spend on. So, if your partner is spending on something without thinking or concern, be alert, he can be emotionally immature.
8. Stressed? Sorry, I am not available!
The most important thing in a relationship is the support of each other during weak moments. But what if your partner is not there with you when you are emotionally broken? Yes, this happens if your partner is suffering from emotional immaturity. When going through the tough times, your partner is surely going to avoid supporting you, or even talking with you about the matter if he is suffering from emotional immaturity. The weak moments here mean loss of a family member, the stress in job, stress in a relationship, etc. This is the time you would feel detached from them.
9. No Commitments, No Compromises Too!
Just as the people suffering from emotional immaturity are not ready for any commitments, they are not also ready for any kind of compromises too. They are comfortable if everything is going as they have expected or they have decided. They wouldn’t be able to compromise on any requirement and wouldn’t even feel shy to blame you if you don’t get it right. They want what they want. They are even very particular about the things they want and the state they want it in. So, even making slight changes in their taste or demand would surely lead to disaster.
10. Oh! Is it me then?
When chaos or issues arrive in normal couples, they are likely to sort them out by comfortably talking with each other and working on the potential ways to overcome the difficulties. But if this situation arrives when you are having an emotionally immature partner, he is sure to walk out of the situation and become defensive. He would rather leave the entire blame on you and walk out of the situation without the fear of even upsetting you. So, if your partner becomes loud and defensive in particular situations, it’s the sign of emotional immaturity.
Apart from all these, the list of other signs includes selfishness, lack of being responsible, grudges holder, irresponsible, and much more. They always remain in their own world and avoid any kind of communication or responsibility they are not comfortable with.
What are the possible ways of handling Emotional Immaturity?
Are you finding any of the signs of emotional immaturity in your partner? Backup! It’s the right time to start with some particular steps that would help in dealing with the situations and help your partner get normal too. Here are some of the steps that would help you in handing an emotionally immature partner.
1. Be Straightforward
This is the best way to initiate handling emotional immaturity. Talk directly with them regarding their behavior and how it is affecting you. Also, add possible solutions in the communication along with the word “I” to make the conversation effective. This would also train your brain to deal with the situation properly without any frustration or anger. Talk with patience and in an explaining tone rather than busting on him out of anger. This might be difficult initially but would surely come up with positive results as you practice it.
2. Be in a healthy boundary
It is high time your partner should know that they need to work on their behavior which is unhealthy. When they come up with excuses, stop taking the side of your partner, and let him learn how to admit his faults. For this, work on your situations and reveal what makes you feel uneasy, angry, and even hurt. Mention all these while communicating with your partner. Cultivate the habit of discussing things with him. Creating healthy boundaries would surely help in improving their behavior to a great extent.
3. Look for some professional help
Last, but not least, looking for some professional help would always be helpful while helping your partner come out of emotional immaturity. Talk about the insecurities and fears your partner is suffering from the practitioner or skilled therapist. This is also helpful if your partner is willing to address the issues and find a perfect way out of it. The professionals are well-trained to handle any situation, identify what they feel and look for healthy ways to treat it.
Hence, above all having to keep too much endurance is also required when working on the emotional immaturity of your partner.
People who are emotionally immature can also be amiable at certain points as well as entertaining for the surroundings. One can surely give a chance to deal with such relationships to some extent. However, having a partner who is emotionally immature can actually be hectic if it’s a life-long question. At the end of the day, you would be left alone in both happiness and weak times.
At the time you might feel they are changing, but they might not be giving out their childish behavior which is the sign to avoid making similar mistakes again and move on. After all, you have the right to be loved, valued, and supported in your relationship.
So, if you are already into such a relationship, give time, and work on all the consequences. If the situation still remains stable, prepare yourself to take the right decision.